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Returning To Myself

Written by Mary Anne Abdo

 

Strange concept trying to court,

yourself at sixty-one.

Realizing the snares and broken arrows,

along the way.

I was once a curious child.

Running through the fields of Philo.

Escaping a parent’s heavy hand.

And trained by some closed-minded nuns.

Wanting perfect stenography students,

to work for the FBI.

Rebellious as hell.

Writing poetry of teenage angst.

And those Saturday matinees with my Scranton Tech friends,

sneaking a six-pack into the Roosevelt,

underneath my baggy sweatshirt.

Throwing food at Rocky Horror.

Marrying my supposed love of my life.

At twenty-one not wanting to be an 80’s child,

spinster.

Chasing his dreams of political glory.

And dropping mine.

Do you know what it is like to be a perfect country-club wife?

Perfect home.

        Perfect children.

                   Perfect friends.

                                  A perfectly,

                                                 drowning family.

Resurfacing above water the day I left.

Layers of a flickering flame,

slowly came back to life.

Re-discovering that blue-eyed imp.

Full of wonderment with a pen and a paintbrush.

Making that full circle,

three blocks away from Philo.

Courting myself underneath the willow tree.

 

Text © Mary Anne Abdo

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