Photographer Poppy Steer is the Edge of Humanity Magazine contributor of this photo essay. From the project ‘Farsickness’. To see Poppy’s body of work, click on any photograph.

The name of my project is Farsickness. The word comes from the German Fernweh, meaning a longing for a place you’ve never been.

I became fascinated with Americana culture from a young age. Growing up, my dad showed me books by Wim Wenders; we watched Paris, Texas on repeat, and the O Brother, Where Art Thou? soundtrack played constantly in our house. Wanting to connect with my father, and as a young trans kid looking up to the image of the all-American man in Wranglers and cowboy hats, I fell in love with a place that only existed in my imagination, a place where I could picture myself as those men, while I was still a young girl back in Sydney, Australia.

At 34, halfway through my transition, I finally went searching for the places I remembered in my mind. I took my camera and drove solo from Canada to California, chasing those old feelings and imagined landscapes. I had autonomy now, freedom to move through the world on my own terms.

As I drove down the I-5, the landscapes didn’t always match the ones in my head. The roads felt lonelier, more worn down. Diners welcomed me in and called me “sir” from across the room, but I never stayed long enough for anyone to see me up close.

I often shot from the car; it’s where I felt safest in the small towns I passed through. It felt like I was watching a new movie this time, unfolding through the windshield. The scenes were warped and dystopian, and I soon realized the feeling of nostalgia I came for was unattainable. It is one thing to grieve a memory of America you have never experienced, but it is another to have your own identity wrapped up in the unattainable place.

Bio: 

Poppy Steer is an emerging trans photographer whose work centers on vulnerable storytelling and the connection and feeling between imagery and nostalgia. Beginning their photographic practice later in life, Poppy explores themes of place, acceptance, and community within an ever-changing global landscape. Their work was recently shortlisted for the Booooooom Photobook Awards, and they have been invited to contribute to up-and-coming Canadian publications. While still early in their career, Poppy brings a thoughtful and intentional approach to their practice, continually seeking opportunities to learn, connect, and grow, while reflecting the world as they see it.

All images and text © Poppy Steer