Written by Dr Ipsita Pradhan

Few months back in one of my health articles when I mentioned how parents can take care of their teenage children if they have a heart- break; then many readers asked me if I was ever in love during my school days! And to be truthful this is one of my greatest regrets, that I could never fall in love during my school years. My father being a teacher in the same school and I being a good- responsible daughter, could focus on study only! Many people, including both elderly and youth, complain that love is no more beautiful as it used to be.

According to NCRB data, in India the total number of suicides due to love affairs has shot up from 1337 cases in 2020 to 1495 in 2021. In the media everyday we witness reports on break-ups, heart-break, cheating, black mail, eloping, separation and divorce.

People these days complain more about love than celebrating it. Instead of listing about the love, happiness and content, youngsters count easily about their fights, lies, failure and tears. They can break their relationships just because they couldn’t spend an evening on coffee or watch a movie together or couldn’t exchange gifts on their birthdays. Maybe the increasing impatience is responsible for that. And to many extent the feeling of instant gratification provided by fast paced internet, social media, online shopping and streaming platforms can be held responsible for this impatience (I think partially).

The pace of our lives have changed with increasing urbanization, industrialization, and dependency on technology. It’s not the same as it used to be 50 years back, or even 10 years back. Though the life expectancy has increased in the last few years, the struggle for existence has also toughened. The efforts one needs to put to maintain his life have increased many folds than the past years. The competitive atmosphere at the workplace doubles up every next day. Humans are getting more selfish, egoistic, materialistic, impatient. The millennials, gen z and gen alpha people are more self-centered and they can leave anyone with much ease than their ancestors. But just because we are humans and have the capacity to express ourselves we can’t put all the blame on technology and modern civilization. It’s the increasing wants, desire for luxurious life and never satisfying greed of humans that make life more complicated.

When everyone is ambitious about career and fame, none of them is in a mood to compromise, then love is the only one left behind for the job of sacrifice. People consider love as a speed breaker in their road to success. But let me ask you something, why do you want success? ‘To get appreciation’, right? And who is going to appreciate you? ‘Your loved one’, right? But you have left them far behind in your journey! Now there is no one around you to clap, cheer or celebrate your success! Then ultimately you’ll start blaming modern life for your loneliness! Then you start to feel the lack of love and trust in your life.

In spite of all the above mentioned facts, love exists. Still our heart races, our hands perspire, our pupils get dilated when we see our special someone. Still the feeling of ‘being in love’ brings the same smile and blush on our face, as it used to 50 or 100 or even 1000 years back. Still we get worried when our loved one is in trouble, we get jealous when we find someone else is sitting by their side and smiling. Still walking on the streets by holding their hands is enough to annihilate all the stress. Love is not a tedious job. It doesn’t require any homework. It’s just a spontaneous emotion. Just learn to respect the job/work of your partner. Learn to give space. Value their time. If they are busy, make yourself free. Just take a step towards your partner, plant a kiss on his/her forehead, put your head on their shoulder, close your eyes, take a deep breath; along with their perfume you’ll also be able to inhale love from the air. Rest of the job will be done by dopamine.

Text © Dr Ipsita Pradhan