Why Do Abducted (Virgin) Brides In Georgia Decide To Stay?

 

Documentary Photographer Dina Oganova is the Edge of Humanity Magazine contributor of this social documentary photography.  From her project ‘Frozen Waves‘.  To see Dina’s projects and stories click on any image.

 

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Growing up I heard many stories of men and young guys abducting girls with the help of their friends so they can marry them.

Many times the girls did not know their abductors.  Unable to choose their future husbands they decided to stay.

Returning home after abduction was shameful.  Their families did not want them back.  They now belong to their husbands, they are not longer virgins and no other men would marry them.

This practice was a normal occurrence in the 90’s in Georgia, but I realized that it’s still happening somehow…

 

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M, age 18

“I was stolen by a man who I never seen before, with his friends they put me in the car and took out from the city. I lost consciousness. When I woke up, we have been in the forest and he told me that I have to be his wife, otherwise everyone will know that I’m not virgin anymore. I was against it and thought that my father will come and bring me home, but…Family didn’t wanted to do that.
It was a shame for them and they asked me to stay…”

 

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K, age 35

“My best friend was in love with a girl, who didn’t love him, so we decided to steal her.
We meet her next to the school and put her in the car and went to village house. They have been together that night. Next morning their families were sitting together and celebrated their wedding day. They are very happy now and have two children.”

 

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A, age 42

“My husband stole me ,when I was 17.
I got pregnant in the first night, but I’m really very happy with him and thankful to my family that they didn’t get me back, because now I could be alone and nobody wanted to marry me. Who needs already used woman?
When you start to create a new family, it’s not necessary to love your husband. When you will live with person for a long time you will get used to him, will have children and love will come also.
What else need woman for happiness?”

 

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L, age 31

“I was engaged, when my classmate decided to steal me.
He was in love with me from first class, but for me he was just a friend. I was very afraid because he all the time said “U will be my wife or I will kill u “.So in my wedding day he came and stole me and bring to his grandmother house, I was crying and hitting him, but he did his “job”.
After two hours my family found me and bring me back home.
Unfortunately my marriage failed again, because my fiancé didn’t wanted me back…
I’m really thankful to my parents, nobody knows what will be with me if they will not bring me back…Now I live in Paris, have beautiful daughter and we are coming here only in summer.”

 

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S, age 49  &  E, age  51

“We are sisters, so we’ve been always very closed to each other.
Our mother died when we were studying at school and we didn’t know our father.
We always knew that we will continue study and go to University, for the better future.
One day, we were coming from school, somebody stopped car and put us there.
We‘ve been in shock, can’t realized what is going on, were crying and trying to beat them.
Boys put something to head, so we didn’t know where we are.
After 2 hours car stopped and we went out.
When we saw that guys, we’ve been confused, because we didn’t know anyone from them and suddenly somebody said:”It’s not them, that’s wrong girls”.
So it was a mistake and they were very sorry and said that they will bring us back.
So they did it, but for us it’s start a nightmare. Nobody were believe that we are still virgins and they were talking all the time bad things about us and it was a big pressure from neighbors and everybody around, so we decided to move to capital and we are so happy that we did it!
That one day changed all our lives.
We got a good education; have a good job, husbands and children, friends and who knows what would happen with us if we stayed there?”

 

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See also:

Alaverdoba

By Dina Oganova

 


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