Written by Ryan DeHoff
i don’t want you to worry
about how these words sound
or about how
easy it is for me
to slip back inside the darkness
slip into a harness
of black and i
swear i don’t want to die
it’s just
couldn’t i live a little less?
how would it be
to never exist at all?
i used to pray for god to take me
now i don’t pray at all.
everything little thing i held to
was ripped to shreds in the fall,
but i don’t want you to worry;
i’m too scared to make a move.
what if things get better?
or there’s a god and he disapproves?
i can’t risk it anymore,
spent my luck on finding you.
just
tell me it gets better
i
won’t kick the chair over
find me
hanging from the rafters
veins blue with breath
unrealized.
i realize
it’s a lot to hold
but
please just keep me close.
Text © Ryan DeHoff
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