Suicidal Nights

 

Written by George Gad Economou

 

“people want to live,” she said.

“not me,” I rebuked with a snicker.

“no one likes to read about depression, unless it’s for how to overcome it.”

“it’s in the blues you find strength to move forth.”

“you want to move down.”

“it’s where she waits.”

“fuck that.”

“fuck you.”

 

another Four Roses poured and the imposing mist

swallowed the strange woman.

fuck her, for vilipending my Emily now hustling a poker game

with the Devil.

 

the other stool remains empty, my drinking buddy has stopped gracing me

with his presence. one more lowball sank, another refill.

 

spiraling down blackout madness, the closest to death

a man can come. the brilliant darkness of nothingness.

 

“you’re gonna get drunk,” she whined, still nursing her first glass of wine.

“that’s the point. drunk, I tolerate the world.”

“and me?”

“and you, yes.”

 

she got up and left; another date ended before the happy ending.

the barmaid rolled her eyes and poured me a refill on the house.

 

“you’re gonna end up alone in a nuthouse.”

“think of all the stories to be found,” I winked and she giggled despite herself.

 

down another glass went—long way to go for the coveted 19th.

the record I shall one day break; young poets now drink Red Bull and

think their flowery lines have meaning.

 

the ghost hunkers down on the stool; let’s bite some ankles, then

joke about the hair of dogs.

 

bottle, and record, in reach and if it’s to be the last night on the planet,

it’s gonna be all right.

 

Text © George Gad Economou

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