Written by Gerardo Ochoa

Mononoaware: The awareness of the impermanence of things.

You are everything I wish I could have, but I know the routine—I read

between the lines—the flaw behind my own existence so I keep my

distance for nothing lasts in the contrasts of my gold’s dying shine.

It’s unfortunate, however, I must admit my despondency appears more

often with someone by my side than none at all. I pick at awareness,

wondering “why me?” both good and bad, and as fate has it, I get to

“enjoy” the pleasure of watching them leave.

Fuck that—I prefer to be alone.

I love the company, but I hate the misery accompanied.

And I’ll eat those words from time to time, but their meaning is benign.

Better to be aware there is an end with no amends, and give up when

we’ve just begun than pretend there is a life for us together in the long run.

I’d rather live a liberating yet universal and solitary condition, and learn to

accept my flaws and keep them to myself than share them with someone

else and perform the overwhelming, continuous rendition of loneliness’s

struggle to keep trying to make someone stay in love with me.

Text © Gerardo Ochoa

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