Written by Mary Anne Abdo
Ultimatum given, but you never sought to heed a word.
Nowhere to turn after three decades and three years.
After many agonizing tears.
Leaving behind the home on Center because of your lack of unity.
Political aspirations and entailments were more important.
Moving up to the middle Rock, with clothes and cats in tow.
Leaving for work the next day in absolute angst.
While putting on that fake smile for the entire world to see.
Sure the Rock had more than enough amenities of that former home.
What a switch a parent having to move in with a child.
In order to escape his father.
Watching the stars poolside smelling the sweet smoke of steak.
Happily trying to gain some sort of self.
Only to be ripped away again.
Fleeing from an unpleasant encounter.
Driving so fast with clothes and cats in tow.
Now the child must live with her parents.
Something that was left behind thirty-three years ago
How could this be happening??
Scaled back dwelling place sharing the room with a sibling.
Sleeping on an inflatable bed hidden in a corner.
No privacy to grieve.
No yard to tend lost flower and vegetable gardens.
Being bombarded with questions.
Hearing my mother’s tears and pleas to go back.
While my dad’s anger over his pending death permeated every room.
Smells of 1970’s recipes wafted around the apartment.
Feeling every so trapped. Trying to make sense.
While nothing makes sense of why divorce is so cruel.
Loss of love,
Loss of self,
Loss of family,
Loss of friends,
Loss of home.
Finally solace in a long lost childhood acquaintance.
Moving yet again with clothes and cats in tow.
To a familiar ancestral neighborhood near Philo.
This place of refuge still provides the peace.
Where pretense does not exist.
It is where Lebanese food and culture are celebrated.
It is where woodland creatures dwell, are fed and admired.
It is where the porch is a gathering place for all.
It is where creativity has no bounds.
It is where true love resides.
Surely this is my final stop before the heavenly destination.
Text © Mary Anne Abdo
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