Written by Mary Anne Abdo
I write the words on paper that only you can give me.
I am sorry that you had to leave.
I am sorry you left this earth in so much pain.
I am sorry that your eyes witnessed war and strife.
I am sorry that the Green Zone was really not a safe haven.
I am sorry scud missiles made you and Maureen run for your lives.
I am sorry that blood filled the Tigris River.
I am sorry that there was no solace in Baghdad.
I am sorry that you lost your American comrades, who were blown
to nothing that day in the barrack’s gym.
I am sorry that your Iraqi interpreters will never be seen again,
in a war they never wanted.
I am sorry that when you came home and had to attend funerals of your comrades who took their lives.
Because the pain of war was too much to fathom…
I am sorry that PTSD was your new normal.
And that nobody really understood.
I am sorry your life became so full of sorrow.
I am sorry it was so unbearable that leaving earth was the only way to stop this madness.
I am eternally grateful that you protected my sister.
I am eternally grateful that you defended this nation.
I am eternally grateful for that you served with honor, distinction and bravery.
I will count you, my dear amongst the five pointed golden stars in the beautiful night sky.
Text © Mary Anne Abdo
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When I heard of my sister’s friend taking her life. I was heartbroken, since she helped my sister escape from a scud missile attack in Baghdad. Because of her bravery my sister is alive today. But sadly war any war is brutal to any human being. There are casualties seen and unseen. It is the unseen that people carry around all of their lives. I can only hope that she sees the love now. Nicole, thank you for your kinds words, it means a lot to me.
Gut wrenching. People that don’t understand depression or suffer from its effects cannot understand what it is like. They think the person who leaves is selfish. The person leaving is lost, stuck, and just desperate for peace. Depression makes it so that leaving feels like the only way to silence everything in your own head. I cried reading this. I am sorry for your loss.