Images and Text By Mariam Kapanadze

My photography seeks to confront the human condition through the lens of existential tension, where the body and mind grapple with the forces of suffering, identity, and the relentless pull of the unknown. The images I create are not merely representations of pain but an exploration of the profound estrangement that marks the human experience—a confrontation with the abyss that both nourishes and destroys the self.

At the core of this tension lies a fundamental conflict: the will to exist, bound by an unconscious drive, collides with the inescapable awareness of mortality. This will, which propels the human being forward, is not a conscious pursuit of life, but rather a blind force—a force that knows only to strive, even when its striving is ultimately futile. It is in this futility that the essence of existence is found: in the pursuit of meaning where meaning may never be attained. The suffering embodied in my work is the inevitable consequence of this pursuit—the body, torn and fragile, is both the source of and the witness to this tragic journey.

This tension between striving and despair creates the paradox that defines human existence: we are condemned to be, yet we are acutely aware that our being is marked by pain, anxiety, and the constant threat of annihilation. The body itself becomes the site of this paradox—flesh and bone subject to the ceaseless forces of decay, yet paradoxically, it is through suffering that we are made acutely aware of our existence. My work seeks to capture this fundamental contradiction, the continuous oscillation between life and death, between the desire for meaning and the absence of meaning, and the ever-present shadow of existential anxiety.

The psyche, in its attempt to make sense of this existential condition, constructs defense mechanisms—whether through the religious symbolisms of the Eucharist or the need for self-flagellation. These are not mere acts of devotion or piety, but subconscious attempts to reconcile the unbearable tension between existence and non-existence, the sacred and the profane. Through these rituals, we attempt to transcend our suffering by giving it form—by turning it into something meaningful, even when the meaning remains elusive. It is through the act of suffering itself that we are called to reflect on the very essence of being, and in this reflection, we encounter the existential void.

In my exploration of trauma and pain, I delve into the core of human experience: the existential void that arises with birth, the wound from which we are cast into existence. It is this primordial trauma, the “birth trauma,” that defines our relationship to both the self and the world. We are born into a world that is not our own, into a body that is both a gift and a curse, forever reminding us of our fragility and impermanence. This trauma is not simply an event; it is the foundation of our being. We live in its shadow, and our thoughts, actions, and identities are inextricably linked to it.

Through my lens, I attempt to visualize the inner workings of this trauma, the deep-seated fears that govern our lives. The archetype of the flagellant—inflicted with pain as a means of purification—emerges as a metaphor for the individual’s confrontation with their own mortality. We inflict pain upon ourselves, not to transcend it, but to meet it head-on, to acknowledge it as an inseparable part of our existence. In this confrontation, there is no transcendence, only an acceptance of the suffering that marks the human condition.

The Eucharist, as a symbol of communion, serves as a representation of this cyclical return to suffering. It is not a transcendental act, but a moment of catharsis—a psychological and phenomenological cycle through which we come face-to-face with the absolute and the unnameable. The transformation of the material into the divine reflects our need to make the abstract tangible, to give substance to the intangible fears and hopes that structure our consciousness. In the act of communion, the body is consumed, and in its consumption, we are reminded of our own consumption, our inevitable return to dust. Through this, we experience the paradox of life: it is only in the recognition of death, in the recognition of the finite, that we truly encounter the possibility of meaning.

Ultimately, my work is a meditation on the tension that lies at the heart of human existence. It is the tension between life and death, between the will to survive and the inevitability of non-being. It is a search for meaning in a world where meaning is always just beyond reach. In embracing the void, in acknowledging the fragility of our existence, we confront the possibility of freedom—not in the escape from suffering, but in the acceptance of it as the essence of what it means to be human.

All images and text © Mariam Kapanadze

Edge of Humanity Magazine

Presents

Photography & Philosophy

The freezing of a moment is a magical event. Images can make us feel love, rage and every sensation in between.

Photographers, whether partial or impartial to their subject matter, consume a massive amount of insight. Their participation cannot be substituted nor replicated. The moment is gone! The experiences will live in their minds and those encounters are immortalized in their photographs.

Edge of Humanity Magazine’s ‘Photography & Philosophy’ series will bring together the art and the mind of these fantastic creators.

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