Written by George Gad Economou


is like a colonoscopy; chances are you won’t enjoy

the procedure, find it uncomfortable, and the results

won’t be what you hoped for.


bend over for an old man with glowing eyes as

the latex glove snaps and he examines your precious

insides, staring into your soul through the tight hole

you once were proud to call exit-only.


the results are not gonna be pleasant; you take the exam

when there’s a problem, not for fun. losing

your prostate means you better

forget one of the few

pleasures left in life. rejection slips, similarly,

mean one thing:

you’re not good enough.


forget the encouraging notes of editors; they typed them

ten years ago and send them to everyone. they know they can’t

call you shit because you’ll be offended.


the doctor’s at least straightforward; sorry, sir, your prostate’s

three times bigger than normal, it must be removed.


sorry, dear submitter whose name we don’t care to remember,

your work’s awful. you can’t string up three half-decent lines together.

if you attended creative writing courses, ask for a refund.

if you didn’t, well what are you waiting for? enroll. they might

know the right people to get you into the right circles and make you



breathe the anesthesia in. you’ll wake up missing a

part of the anatomy that was created for good times,


but nowadays those good times are unmentionable. so, you ain’t

missing much



Text © George Gad Economou




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