Written by Melissa Lemay
Dear Child,
If I could be there for you in your time of need,
I would. But I can’t go back in time.
I would notice all the scars hidden underneath
you couldn’t speak. I would enfold you, let you
know it will all be okay. I would take all those
bad memories and erase them, making room
for joy and peace instead. I would give you
a bigger heart, and less room for holding pain.
I would instill quiet and stillness deep within,
replacing darkness and depravity and the sin
of man. I would make love more effective
at filling in all the blank spaces. If I could.
I wouldn’t lose you at the seashore, or
leave you sitting alone in the truck outside the
store. I would soothe the panic stricken system
you were presented, as an unwanted gift you
couldn’t return. If I could, I would listen to
all your stories, your adventures, your sadness,
you telling me about your day. I would come
to every swim meet, or at least one.
If I could, I would be your friend, so you
didn’t have to invent them, playing pretend
waitress, with a pen and a pad, writing down
orders from no one. I would not be always
rushing off or coming home from places;
instead of creating and planning for gaps,
I would fill them in. I would acknowledge
your achievements; more importantly, I would
acknowledge your heart that beats outside
so loudly it is never quiet. I would play cards
with you whenever you asked, and I would
thank God you wanted me around. If I could.
I would put together all the pieces, and at least
I’d teach you, how to make repairs when they
fell apart. I would build your self-esteem
and teach you that the most important
things in life never come undone. I would sit
outside on the roof with you and look up
at the stars, instead of screaming at you
to get down. I would never put my hand
around your throat and slam you against
the wall. I would not think to do that if I could.
I would help you learn patience, instead of
helping you learn that people never come
back. Hopefully you wouldn’t grow up so
anxious, always afraid of being left behind,
never trusting anyone, because I know what
that is like. And when you attempted suicide
at age 13, and your friend phoned me, emergent,
to let me know, I would not complain about
the ambulance, “now I’m going to have to
pay for that”.
If I could. I would give you a bigger heart,
and I would do whatever I could to not
rip it apart.
Text © Melissa Lemay
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Thank you!
Thank you, Destiny.🙏🏼❤️
Melissa… touching hearts again 🌹🤍🤗
Congratulations on publication 🎉