Written by Esteban Hernandez
Oh how beautiful your web is little spider
Mine does not sparkle in the sunlight like yours
Oh no, my web is a mess of intertwined words like
I Promise
I’m Sorry
I love you
It won’t happen again
You made me do this
It was a mistake…
Little spider I wish I could spin my web with such purpose like yours
Mine is no home, it does not trap my prey, it does not scare away my enemies
Actually I guess our webs are not all that different
My web is a prison, like a home but not one wish to inhabit
It traps , but not only prey it also traps the ones I love
My web scares away but not my enemies.
It scares away those who discover the flawed construction of my tainted strings that make my web.
My web has a center like yours
But mine is not a beautiful symmetrically shaped door to escape or to hide
The center of my web is my mind filled with self-hatred, disgust, shame, and all of the things that I hide from everyone else.
I bet if I touched it I would destroy your web
I wish that I could destroy mine
But its construction is so hard and so intricately woven that I can’t separate one strand from the next
I bet if I destroyed your web you would just quickly spin another one
I suppose we are alike in that way, because as soon as mine begins to unravel I just find myself sewing and scrambling to reconstruct it so no one can get to me
I envy you little spider
While some may stay away because they fear you
And some may stray too close because your web is so thinly perfect
You live with purpose
And your web each time that you create it is honest and has reason
One day I’ll spin a web like yours
But for now I’ll have to keep clawing and tearing to get out of mine
And I’ll keep fighting to change my old habits of using toxic materials to build this home, this trap
One day I’ll spin a beautiful web like yours.
Text © Esteban Hernandez
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