“…down with anxiety attacks…” The Eternal Euphoria & Construed Illusions – A Photographer’s   Story

Can anyone help me in remembering the unrecalled memories from the extinct oblivion? Sometimes the disorientated mind seems to be lost with considerable confusion. A subjective feeling when a person has anxiety.

 

Independent Filmmaker and Photojournalist Ritam Talukdar is the Edge of Humanity Magazine contributor of this documentary photography. From his ongoing project ‘Forms of Mental Illness‘.  To follow Ritam’s photo journeys click on any image.

 

Suffocated Desires

 

Wired

 

Are we in need of sympathy or empathy?

 

There’s nothing special happening tonight.

 

We as human beings are never complete even if all of our feelings are seen to be. Within each of us there lies a small portion of unsatisfactory statement that slowly over the passing time, turns onto us, even if we try to be significant we find some part of it to be missing.  This feeling of “lack of being” kind of acted as a strange phenomenon, in which people like us lie submerged.

 

"...There was a strange euphoric rush regarding the feeling of always being left alone, which was becoming hard to control..."

 

After being diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder and Depression, I felt that I started to worry about everyday life events without any particular reasons and I always expected disasters to happen no matter how soothing the situations were. I started talking on my own and felt the burden of stress along with palpitation and chronic nervousness wherever I went. There was a strange euphoric rush regarding the feeling of always being left alone, which was becoming hard to control. At that time I realized that this is not a general feeling, but a condition faced by most of the people now days. I decided to document it.

 

"...I am not the only one out there..."

 

Till now I have always looked for ways to express myself through the photographs that I try to take. I believe this strange phenomenon of mine as a gift through which I am able to send messages in a sort of thought provocative way, that I am not the only one out there. People like us exist and this is a common scenario, currently faced by a lot of people.

 

"...I am searching for the eternal euphoria amidst all these construed illusions of the habitat existing between me and my feelings..."

 

This is merely a subjective approach of mine towards a project that I have been doing for quite a long time. I am showing the situation of my mind at this moment through the plethora of caliginous feelings. These are all how I see my surroundings and the nature when I am down with anxiety attacks. I am searching for the eternal euphoria amidst all these construed illusions of the habitat existing between me and my feelings.

Expressing all of these through a series of photographs kind of makes me feel happy but momentarily.

 

Post traumatic stress disorder can also cause people to experience chronic, recurrent nightmares which can also be caused by sleep disorders. It can generally be termed as a dream occurring during Rapid Eye Movement sleep that results in feelings of strong terror, fear and distress or extreme anxiety. This phenomenon generally occurs at the end of the night and the sleeper is likely to recall the content of the dream.

 

Disturbed

 

A crashed feeling

 

Self Hurt Propaganda helps to release a lot of things going around in the mind, which one is unable to share with the growing absence.

 

We all belong to a Toxic Generation where depression is one of the growing boons in the society specially amongst the youth. Tattoos and wild life style have been a simple method of hiding the desperation we all feel inside, only to become what we never achieve to show everyone.

 

Prosopagnosia or face blindness is a disorder that makes you unable to recognize the faces of certain people. They rely on certain non facial information like voice, hair color. And here I am relying on events to recognize people. It’s been quite a long time that I haven’t been social with a lot of people.

 

See also:

Harsh Life, Displayed Variably On Streets!

By Ritam Talukdar

 

 

 

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