Written by Life Coach Carioca Da Gema

Society has precise expectations, or minefields if you question conventional wisdom. Some of us can navigate well by carefully alternating the negative and positive responses. Well crafted manipulation, can make you popular without much effort. The most sought-after species in society are the pleasers, people that under acid rain, will say yes to an extra task. These individuals, mainly women, are constantly overwhelmed. Like the flow of mail for a postal worker, tasks for the pleaser in your social circle keep coming one after another without end in sight. The accomplished task is rewarded with appreciation and popularity. But more than likely, the pleaser will also walk away with their next assignment.

There is a time in everyone’s life when they reevaluate what they are doing. No one should feel bad about saying NO. Refusal is normal, your life, efforts and time have tremendous value. These resources must be utilized wisely; as they are limited by the amount of time we have available to accomplish our daily tasks.

If is difficult for you to say no to things you do not want to do, try this ‘game’ with someone you trust. If they have the same issue it is even better so both of you can benefit.

For a limited amount of time, refuse to do things for this person, unless the task can benefit you in some way or someone is bleeding, the answer is no.

Start with a day, move on to a week and so on. When the established period is over, take a break for a couple of days and start another round. This way you have a safe environment to exercise saying no. Move on outside your trusted shelter whenever you feel rambunctious.

Disclaimer: These are tips/opinions from a layperson. ‘No’ comes easy to me! I huff and puff like an old man, kick and scream like a four year old, each time I must do something I do not want to.

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Neutrality comes with the price of being disconnected. Society is composed of like-minded people; teal lovers search for bluish-green connections, and the burnt sienna worshippers choose to navigate a path that’s deep reddish brown. Embracing the color wheel will yield richer exposure and isolation.
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