Written by Life Coach Carioca Da Gema
Every marriage is unique, as the function of the institution is to bring together two different minds. Marriage is composed of a multitude of factors, unrelated with the actions of being married.
People convert to another religion in order to marry. Women in many male dominated cultures refuse to tie the knot, as they wish not to be ordered around by their husbands like the women from previous generations. Arranged marriages are still alive and well in India.
The law of the land also has the finger on the scale. In some societies men can have multiple wives, regardless of their ability to afford them, while in other marriages are composed of two individuals only.
Finances also play a role, as some candidates aim for high credit scores, lavishing living spaces, and on how good the couple will look for their friends before they get to know who they are about to share their lives with.
The rules are blurry; you can go to church on Sunday, after attending a kinky party on Saturday. You can cherish cooking and eating or your waistline. You may spend money you do not have or be a cheap skin. It is all about what works for you and your other half.
The institution of marriage carries a tremendous load by definition. The more in tune individuals are with themselves and with each other, the more in depth they go and more layers of complications and explorations they will find together. Couples pondering about their freedom, the commingling of minds, and the emotional liability shared in their journey occupying the same space and time, are delving deeper thru their regular routine than those negotiating who is going to stop at the bodega to buy milk or why your sister is not welcome here…
Marriage, like most valuable things in life, takes work. Likewise, most well done jobs, took preparation to get started and effort to be accomplished. One must grasp what it is, and what it is not, which changes from person to person according to what that person is trying to accomplish. Your goal may be to have a mate you can count on, or two parents for a bunch of crumb snatchers, or spend summers in The Hampton’s, but do not lose track of the fact that it takes two to tango and your mate’s needs are just as important as yours. Think of it as embarking on a train going in a different direction than the one you are heading. You will kick and scream the entire way up and on the way back, and by the time the train passes the point where you embarked, and now heading to your destination, you are going to find yourself tired and out of time.
This article is part of the Rewind Series
“I will not make you dependent on me. My approach is to find alternative options under a circumstance and open new doors into a resolution of old problems. Clear the docket so you can see things from other angles as you absorb other possibilities. In time, after you had conquered your needs, you will be able to replace what does not work, accept what you cannot change, and accomplish what you want.”
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